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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734654">Festival</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datawolf39/pseuds/A%20Small%20World'>A Small World (Datawolf39)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Prayer [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Regression/De-Aging, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Zuko, Non-Sexual Age Play, Stuffed Toys, Zuko (Avatar) is Bad at Feelings, Zuko (Avatar) is an Idiot, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, big brother sokka, fesitval</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:49:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28734654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Datawolf39/pseuds/A%20Small%20World</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sokka asks, Zuko gives in, and things are good, but, of course Zuko is too hard on himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katara &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Prayer [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Asking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So um, I was reading the comments on The Prayer, cause I'm weird like that, and realized I said I would, and failed to give Zuko any stuffed animals in that story, so I was going to add a bonus chapter to do so... </p><p>Long story short, it spiraled out of control and became a fic of its own.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Please, Zuko” Sokka begged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko groaned, knowing even as he fought that he was going to eventually give in to Sokka. It shouldn’t have been possible for him to be so easily persuaded. If Sokka was influencing him with his nature, he would understand, but both of them were nowhere near their headspaces.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want this so much?” he asked, stalling for time in an effort to seem like less of a pushover  Really it was ridiculous, most of the time he could just say no. General wants to start another war, ‘no’. People asking inane questions, ‘no’, but Sokka genuinely asking him for something basically inconsequential, well that had him bending more easily than grass in a high wind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka sighed, seemingly unaware of the sway he had over the current Fire Lord, and sat down on Zuko’s bed. “I just… Well I want to be Little with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re Little often enough as it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean outside of the palace. It’s kinda lonely you know? And sometimes you’re too busy so…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the guilt just kept piling on. Despite everything, Sokka never really asked him for anything, and he seemed reluctant to be telling why he was so eager to go to the festival, which did nothing except make Zuko feel even guiltier for not noticing just how much his Bear had been holding back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he sat next to Sokka. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault. I knew what I was getting into the moment I realized that you were mine, and Katara’s to care for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still, it hasn’t been fair, to you” Zuko said. “I’m just nervous. I mean knowing that everyone knows my Classification, is different from having them see me like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Maybe next year,” Sokka said with a hopeful smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka frowned, but quickly pulled himself together. “It’s fine. It was selfish of me to ask anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko jumped at the poorly hidden sadness in Sokka’s voice, and realized that Sokka had misinterpreted what he meant. Then he was overcome with confusion. “Selfish?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka shifted nervously. “Part of the reason I wanted to go was because… well I would get to show you off. It’s kinda a Caregiver thing. Having others see how happy your Little is well… it’s hard to explain, but it’s similar to the rush I get when I’m Little, and Tara knows what I need before I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was something that Zuko could relate to. “Does that feel different for you since you’re a Switch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe? I’ve never been anything other than what I am, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded. “So it would make you and Tama happy if we went to the festival?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but just knowing that you trust us, makes us happy too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go, but if I… if I get scared we can leave right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. The second you feel afraid, we’ll come back to the palace, and I’ll smother you in cuddles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I get cuddles anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After the festival?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes please, and,” Zuko looked down at his feet, “now too please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka launched himself at Zuko, hugging him tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko folded himself up, the way he always did when he was being cuddled. “Thank you,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anytime.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Arrival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is where the fic started to spiral out of my control.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko knew he was being too cautious. After all, not only would Katara be there, Sokka and Aang were meeting them later. With all of them there, it was very unlikely that anyone would try anything, and in addition, several guards had been stationed at all of the entry points for the festival, in an effort to be sure that there would be no disturbances. </p><p>“We don’t have to go,” Katara reminded him gently.</p><p>Zuko shook his head. “It’s fine, I’m just… nervous, but really it would be rude not to attend all things considered.” He wasn’t kidding about that either, considering the festival was not only to celebrate the first year of his reign, and the subsequent peace with the rest of the world that he had played a large part in cultivating, it had also, because of his Class, been turned into a Littles’ festival. The practice had fallen out of favor long ago, and it seemed that the Fire Nation wanted to renew the tradition now that they had an openly Little Fire Lord.</p><p>“You don’t have to be in your headspace if you don’t want to. I'm sure that just going will show your support.”</p><p>Zuko shook his head again. “It’s okay, just let me calm down a bit before we go.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Zuko took a few breaths and closed his eyes. It was actually funny that the bravest thing that he could do at this moment was allow himself to be the small child that he was in his headspace. A shiver of fear ran through his body as he thought about going out in public. He was anxious enough when he had to make his rounds as Fire Lord, but it was even worse when he thought about being surrounded by strangers while he was Little.</p><p>Zuko opened his eyes.</p><p>“Are you ready, my duckling?” Katara asked, offering her hand to him.</p><p>Zuko nodded and took her hand. Instantly he felt a bit safer, after all Tama was super strong, and she would never let anything happen to him. </p><p>They left the palace grounds, and made their way into the city. Everything was bright, even though it was night time. Lights covered every stall, and lanterns had been hung everywhere. There were many different types of food, and stuffed toys, and activities being hosted at various sized booths. There were also people, so many people. Some were clearly Littles too. They had brighter clothes, for the most part, and some, like him, were clinging to their Caregivers, but some of them were dragging Caregivers from stall to stall.</p><p>“Do you want to play one of the games?” </p><p>Zuko blinked, not quite able to answer due to how overwhelmed he was.</p><p>“Are you the Fire Lord?” Someone asked.</p><p>Zuko jumped, and turned his attention to the girl. She was about his height, with dark hair and an impish smile. Her dress was a dark purple that matched the ribbon in her hair, and she seemed to buzz with barely contained energy.</p><p>A man stopped in front of them. He was rather tall, his brown hair was in disarray, likely from chasing the Little around, and his clothing was all dark aside from the pink ribbon that he used to tie his hair back. “Zephy, you can’t just… I’m so sorry! We’ll-”</p><p>“Yes. ‘M Zuko. Right now I’m here for fun stuff. Fire Lord stuff is boring.”</p><p>Zephy laughed. “Papa’s work haths lots of boring meetings.”</p><p>Zuko tentatively smiled back at her. </p><p>“You’re nice,” she asserted. “You can has this if you want.” From her pocket she pulled out a bracelet with a cartoonish tigerdillo charm hanging on it.</p><p>“You really want give this to me?”</p><p>“Yeah! I won it, so I cans give it way if I wants to. Here, I cans put it on you.”</p><p>Zuko nodded, and offered his arm.</p><p>Zephy stuck her tongue out slightly as she concentrated on fastening the clip on the bracelet, and then she smiled widely once she had accomplished her task.</p><p>Zuko gazed in wonder at the accessory, and then shyly smiled at the girl that had given it to him. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Welcome.”</p><p>“Come on Zephy, we still have to go meet your uncle.”</p><p>“Kay Papa. See ya later,” the girl chirped, waving as the man pulled her away.</p><p>Zuko waved until the girl was lost in the crowd.</p><p>“That was very nice of her,” Katara said.</p><p>Zuko blinked, and turned back to her. “I…”</p><p>“What is it, duckling?”</p><p>“She was happy.”</p><p>“Yes she was, wasn’t she?”</p><p>“Tama?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Do you think… do you think I can be like her?”</p><p>“Zuko, you can be whatever you want. If you are shy and want to cling to me all night, I’ll be just as proud as if you ran around with reckless abandon.”</p><p>Zuko smiled, Tama always knew what to say. “Where Bear?” </p><p>“He’s coming,” Katara said with a smile. “There was something that he had to take care of.”</p><p>“Kay. I hope he get here soon.”</p><p>“Zuzu!”</p><p>Zuko blinked and turned toward the voice.</p><p>The crowd parted to let Sokka through, and Zuko could see that many of the people were smiling, possibly thinking that Sokka was just a Little meeting with a friend. Some of them seemed rather shocked though, when ‘Zuzu’ turned out to be Zuko.</p><p>“Bear!” Zuko called back, laughing as his brother barreled into him, and wrapped him in a big hug. </p><p>“I missed you!”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Wanna play? There are games, and everything! They look awesome”</p><p>“Kay.”</p><p>“Not so fast, baby bear.”</p><p>“Tara, please.”</p><p>“Yes you two can play, but don’t go too far okay.”</p><p>“Alright,” Sokka grumbled.</p><p>Zuko grabbed Sokka’s hand. “Let’s go, Bear.”</p><p>The two of them ended up at a ring toss booth first, and quickly set themselves up in the two spots so they could play against one another. They both were given five different colored rings, and Zuko only missed the first one since he overestimated the distance. Sokka also missed only one, but it was because he underestimated it.</p><p>“You two did amazingly,” Katara praised once they had finished.</p><p>“Which prizes would you like?” the stall owner said.</p><p>“I want the tiger seal,” Sokka said, pointing to the plush. It was quickly plucked from it’s spot in the line-up and handed to him. “Thank you,” he said as he cuddled his new toy.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” he said, then he turned to Zuko, and it was only due to the nervousness that Zuko was displaying that the man’s voice came out steady. Caregiver instinct was hard to fight, and seeing a distressed Little was more than enough to settle his nerves even when the Little in question was the leader of the nation. “What about you?” he asked kindly.</p><p>Zuko blinked up at him, skin reddened by a blush. He ran his index and middle fingers across his lips, and took a look at the toys on display. “Dat one,” he whispered, pointing at the one he wanted.</p><p>The man plucked the toy from its perch, and handed it to Zuko.</p><p>“Thank you,” Zuko said, as he cuddled his new toy. It was small, and soft, and he already loved it. It was inevitable though, because it was a turtle duck plushie.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” the man said, and to his joy, he received a tentative smile in return.</p><p>Toys in hand, the two boys moved on from the stall. A little ways down, they found a large area that had been covered  with blankets, and pillows. A woman sitting on a chair was reading a story. Several Littles sat before her enraptured by the tale, and since it seemed to have just started Zuko quietly sat on the edge of the carpet.</p><p>Sokka sat next to him, and Katara sat on his other side.</p><p>Zuko’s fingers made their way to his lips, and Katara was quick to push them away before he could bite on them, and slipped a pacifier into his mouth.</p><p>The lady reading the story stuttered when she recognized the newcomers, but aside from that, there was not a sign that she had noticed them.</p><p>After the story was over, the three of them stopped at a stall to get a treat. Sokka decided to get cookies, and Zuko got a cup of pudding.</p><p>“Wanna try one Zuzu?” Sokka asked once they were seated at a nearby table.</p><p>Zuko nodded, and opened his mouth.</p><p>Sokka broke a cookie in half, and put one of the halves in Zuko’s mouth, and the other in his own.</p><p>“Ish good,” Zuko slurred as he chewed.</p><p>“Mmmm,” Sokka hummed in agreement.</p><p>“Wanna try mine?” Zuko asked.</p><p>Sokka opened his mouth, and Zuko carefully scooped some pudding out with his spoon, and put it in Sokka’s mouth.</p><p>Sokka’s eyes lit up, “Yum,” he said once Zuko had pulled the spoon back.</p><p>“You like?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s good as cookies.”</p><p>Zuko smiled, and took a bite of the pudding. It really was yummy.</p><p>After they finished their snacks, Katara cleaned them up, and they went back to exploring the stalls. They played a few more games, and won some more prizes. Katara had the forethought to carry a bag with her, and put most of the prizes inside so that they could be toted around easily. Sokka kept hold of his tiger seal plush, and Zuko held tight to his turtleduck one, he had also won a childish version of the blue spirit mask that covered his eyes, and left his mouth free, and decided that he wanted to wear it.</p><p>There was a clothing stall, and Katara decided to buy him a blue robe to go with the mask. It also had the added benefit of keeping most people from reacting to him now that it wasn't as easy to recognize him. Sokka and Zuko had just started playing at a sensory table, when Zuko jumped, and grabbed Katara’s hand.</p><p>“Tama,” he whispered, a little embarrassed by what he needed. </p><p>“What’s the matter duckling? Are you tired?”</p><p>Zuko flushed, and shook his head. “Gotta go,” he told her, whimpering a little. He’d had to go for a bit, but he couldn’t ignore it anymore, and he didn’t want to have an accident, cause he’d have to run away forever if that happened, and he didn’t want to have to run away.</p><p>“Come on,” Katara told him, leading the way to the bathroom. Zuko kept his eyes on his feet, and tried his best to keep his hands from his crotch. He slipped up a time or two, but only for a second, and nobody seemed to notice thankfully.</p><p>“Almost there,” Katara said soothingly. Really it wouldn’t be a big deal were he to wet himself, there were perks to being a waterbender after all, but she understood that it would be embarrassing for him, and she hoped he could hold on. Afterwards, she would definitely tell him to speak up the next time, and she would add a break or two later on, which, honestly, was what she should have done from the start.</p><p>“We’re here,” she said. “Do you need me to go in with you?”</p><p>Zuko shook his head, and hurried into the facilities. He quickly pushed aside his clothing, and sighed as he finally got to let go. That had been way too close, and he had been afraid that he wouldn’t make it.</p><p>One he finished and put his clothing back into place, he found himself crying, and he felt stupid, because  he didn’t even know why he was crying, he had made it, his clothes were dry, and his Tama was waiting just outside for him. He should be fine. Still tears ran down his face, and he bit on his sleeve in an effort to stay quiet since his hands were dirty. </p><p>He wanted to disappear, but that was a bad want, and would make his family sad. Maybe he should go home, and let Tama and Bear stay. He shook his head, they wouldn’t do that, they would leave with him, and that wasn’t good either.</p><p>
  <em> Maybe you could sneak away. If they were having fun, they wouldn’t even notice you were gone. </em>
</p><p>Zuko swallows hard, he shouldn’t listen to that thought, but it was… appealing. He moved his mask aside so that he could wipe at his face with the sleeve he wasn’t biting on. A bit unsteadily, he made his way to the sink to wash his hands. Maybe if he aged up just a bit, he could just claim to be tired, and go home without an entourage.</p><p>He took a deep breath, readjusted his mask, and then walked outside.</p><p>“All better?”</p><p>Zuko nods, and gazes off to the side hoping that would keep her from noticing that he had been crying.</p><p>He grabs her hand, and they make their way back to the sensory table. Sokka is still there, and Aang is playing with him.</p><p>“Do you want to play here or would you like to go somewhere else?”</p><p>Zuko takes a breath, trying to claw his way into a mindset other than his current one, but overwhelmed as he is, it’s a real struggle, and that frustrated him even more.</p><p>“Duckling?” </p><p>Shame flooded him, he hadn’t wanted to make Tama all worried. His goal was to make her not worry about him. No matter what any of his new family said, he knew that he wasn’t worth the amount of worry, and kindness they expended on his behalf. Now he really needed to go. He pulled his hand from Tama’s loose hold, knowing he only managed because it had been the last thing that she had expected him to do, and now, finally, he spoke. “I’m going home.”</p><p>“Zuko,” she said, clearly stunned at his declaration, but he ignored her, and walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Allies and Apologies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He walked and walked, making turns and more turns, until he was certain that no one had been able to follow him. Moments after he stopped walking though, he realized that he had no idea how to get back to the palace. He could see it, because despite the limited places he chose to go when inside, the actual building was very big, but the twists and turns of stalls had him confused about how to get there since he wasn’t as far out of Littlespace as he had pretended to be. Fear rolled through his body like an illness, and he felt like he was going to be sick, and just like that his mental age plummeted leaving him feeling even smaller than he usually did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'<em>I shoulda have stayed with Tama</em>,' he thought with a barely suppressed whimper, but he had been too much of a baby, and now he had gotten himself lost like one. What if he never found his way home? What if he was lost forever?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly the festival didn’t look like fun at all, and the lights were too bright for him. He wished that he had never decided to come here, cause then he wouldn’t be scared and alone. </span>
  <span>People passed him, and seemed not to notice his distress. He felt icky feelings in his chest as he watched others having fun. It was worse when he saw Littles playing together or being cared for by their Caregivers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Keeping his head down, he kept moving, he didn’t want anyone to ask if he was okay, because right now he couldn’t lie, and he was scared that he would cry if he took a moment to focus on conversation with another person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘<em>Just keep walking</em>,’ he told himself. Eventually he had to choose the right path, and then he would be home again, and he could lay down on his bed, and cuddle his- no he couldn’t. The plushie was in Tama’s bag cause he hadn’t wanted it to get messy at the sensory table, and she would surely not want to give them back to him since he had run away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He really was all alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought was painful. He hadn’t been this alone since… since the moment he had tried to convince everyone that he wanted to be a good guy. Tears pooled as he remembered. The fear, the painful anger in their faces, the involuntary fall into the unfamiliar headspace, and the acceptance, which he had certainly lost now, due to what he had done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing that he would cause a scene if he melted down in the middle of the festival, he squoze into a small gap between a stall, and a building. It was dark, and scary, when compared to the bright walkways of the festival, but he deserved to be in a place like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whimpered in pain as he fell to the ground a bit too fast cause his legs decided not to work right anymore. He tried to choke back a sob, but it was a futile effort. The best he could do was move aside his mask, and pull his sleeve into his mouth to muffle his cries. Then he curled into a small ball, to muffle them even further, wishing that he just had a paci or a plushie to depend on for comfort.. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A long time later, when he was out of tears, and too full of hurt to move, he heard voices, closer to him than any others had been since he squished himself in this small space. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it fell here,” a voice said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We might not find it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! We have to. It’s my lucky rock!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zephera you do not yell at me,” the voice chided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Papa,” the girl said remorsefully, sounding close to tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll look for a little longer, okay love? Then we have to go back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was super close now, and he pushed his mask back into place just in case, and curled up even tighter, hoping that would save him from being noticed. It was stupid, because he knew from experience that never worked, but he couldn’t help trying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly,  a hand was resting on his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gasped, but didn’t move in any other way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you lost?” she asked quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko refused to move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come out of there, you’re going to get your clothes dirty," called a voice from beyond the tiny alleyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa, there’s a sad Little in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are they hurt?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko could hear the worry in the man’s voice, and it just added to his overflowing guilt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think so it's kinda hard to see,” the girl called back. “Come on,” she said in a quieter voice, clearly addressing him now, “Papa can help you if you come out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of him wanted her to go away, and leave him here to be sad like he should be, but the other part, growing larger within him, second by the second, wanted to leave the dark, and let a Caregiver fix everything. He wanted his Tama! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whimpered, and from somewhere came more tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl tugged on him, and Zuko didn’t fight her, allowing himself to be pulled out. The girl seemed… familiar for some reason. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were out of the narrow area, a man was kneeling before him, trying to see his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My name is Lei,” the man told him in a soft voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko wanted to be mad, because he shouldn't inspire such a soft worried tone in someone who was practically a stranger, but he couldn't summon the emotion, and then the man was speaking again and all his focus was consumed with the need to listen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “It’s alright now Little One. Can I move your mask out the way for a moment?” he asked gently, holding up a handkerchief so that Zuko would understand why he had asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko stood there frozen. He didn’t want the man to know who he was, and make fun of him or laugh, so he made himself shake his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, it’s okay," the man said calmly. "Are you lost?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he lost? No he wasn’t lost he had walked away all on his own, and he knew where he wanted to go. He could lie though, but would they help him if he did? He pulled his sleeve to his mouth and bit on it. Lying was bad, even he knew that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t eat our clothes,” the girl said, tugging softly on his sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko glanced at the girl, and suddenly he knew why she seemed familiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He focused his gaze back on the ground and stepped back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zephy, it’s okay. He’s just a bit scared, and is trying to make himself feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zephy nodded. </span>
  <span>“Sorry,” she said to Zuko then she grabbed the hand that was still at his side. “We’ll help you, kay? You don’t need to be scared. I’m Zephy, what’s your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko didn’t speak, and instead, he let the sleeve fall from his mouth. Slowly, body tense with fear of what they would do, he pushed the sleeve aside so that they could see the bracelet on his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both of them recognized it, and he prepared to run. He had no idea where he would go, but anywhere else had to be better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” Lei said, voice ever so soft. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looked into his eyes, trying to see if he really meant it, and all he saw was open worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It makes him want to cry again, and he covers his face, mask and all with his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, he finds himself pulled into an embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His arms react all on their own, and he clings tightly. He tries not to wet the purple fabric with his tears, but it's hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sad. We’ll help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was bad,” he manages. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jus say sorry, an it will be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head. It could never be that easily, not for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zephy is right,” Lei agrees. “Just say you're sorry and I’m sure you’ll be forgiven. It looks like you have already punished yourself enough as it is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko pulls out of the hug, and looks directly at Lei after blinking away the lingering tears. “Help me find Tama, please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course. Do you mind if Zephy holds your hand as we walk? She likes to run ahead, and I doubt she’d do that if you two walked together.``</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lei smiles, and Zephy sticks her tongue out at him. She does offer her hand to Zuko though, and after a second of hesitation he grabs it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they walk, headed for the biggest attractions, Zephy swings their hands, and Zuko can’t help smiling just a little, she catches the smile, and makes a silly face. He tries not to laugh, and ends up snorting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flushes, embarrassed at making such a weird sound, but Zephy just giggles, and the sound is too much for him so he ends up giggling too. Before long they are both full out laughing, and they can barely walk due to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so funny you two?” Lei asks from behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They look at him, and then back at each other, before being caught in another laughing fit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So silly,” Lei teases gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am not,” they respond in unison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lei smiles pleased to see them happy, and they keep walking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ten minutes later, Zuko catches sight of Katara, and freezes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zephy and Lei look at him with worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a shaky voice he asks, “What if she’s really mad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like us to come with you?” Lei asks, after following Zuko’s line of sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nods, and Zephy squeezes his hand gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk over, and in a shaky, broken voice, Zuko calls out to her. “Tama.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice is quiet, but Katara hears him, and turns. She walks over, fluid and graceful, just like her element, and then she is before him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘M sorry,” he says before she can say. “I was bein stupid an shoulda stayed with you an Bear. I was barrased-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stops when Katara pulls him into a hug. He can feel her body tremble as she holds him, and he puts his arms around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment, she pulls back, and she just looks at him, and then lets out a shaky sigh. When she opens her eyes, she turns to Lei, and Zephy, “Thank you both so very much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lei nods, and Zephy smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at me?” Zuko questions softly, needing to know, just to make sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I will be later, but right now, I’m just so relieved that you are okay. None of the guards had seen you, and you never made it back to the palace, so I knew you were still here, but the longer it took to find you the more afraid I was that you were hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you say bye to your friend then we’ll find the others, and head home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nods grateful for the distraction, and turns to Zephy, and Lei. “Thank you for helping me,” he says to Lei. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lei smiles. “You’re welcome.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of indecision, he gives Zephy a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Zephy and Lei walk away, Katara takes Zuko’s hand, and he holds tightly to hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tama..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, duckling?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stopped walking, and Katara looked at him, clearly confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko swallowed, and a shiver ran through him. "For makin' me see how it should have been."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara blinked, and Zuko could see the instant that she realized what he meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled him into a hug, so tight, that it was very nearly painful. Her breathing was rough, and uneven, and all he could do, was wrap his arms around her in return.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The part that surprised me was that the OCs came back, it was weird because they were supposed to be just background to make Zuko more comfy at the festival, and the mask was just something to make sure that he wasn't as easily recognized, because I realized that was an issue, so then they just came back somehow and the mask played its role. Does it still count as foreshadowing, I wonder, if all the elements came about rather suddenly?</p><p>*Realized certain parallels right at the end and added the last bit as I edited the chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The four of them are seated in a small room within the palace. Everyone was quiet, and even though his gaze was firmly fixed elsewhere, since he was not willing to look up, he knew that they were all looking at him. Maybe it would be easier if they were all yelling at him, that would be something that he could understand, but this sad silence, it was so much worse than yelling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had nothing to say though. Someone else had to be the one to start because he had said sorry so many times that he had to stop himself from saying it again, because it just made them all look even sadder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Katara was the one to break the silence, but the question she led with was enough to make him wish that she hadn’t.  “Are you unhappy, Zuko?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” he yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why did you run off?” she asks, her voice still calm as she ignored the volume of his answer. “Is there something that I’m doing wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are perfect,” he snaps, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one whose broken and not worthy of-” he snaps his mouth shut, and directs his eyes to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How- Zuko, why would you think something like that?” Sokka asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko allows himself a brief glance at Sokka, and the pure distress in his features is enough to force an honest answer out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… everytime I’m happy, I end up doing something wrong, and then I remember everything, and I panic. There are plenty of  more deserving people that deserve to be happy. Why me? Why do I get to be happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happiness isn’t something a person is owed, Zuko. Being happy is just a reaction to something you like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looked at Aang, “It’s still not fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me why you shouldn’t be happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I put everyone in danger, and I did a lot of bad stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So anyone who put others in danger and did anything they later came to regret should never be happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko was about to say yes, but then he realized that he couldn’t. He needed to be more specific, because that was a wide net that most of the people he knew would be caught in, and they deserved to be happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I let Uncle down, and didn’t see how monstrous my homeland was, and I was too weak to do anything myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the list is now, anyone who put someone in danger, has regrets, has done something to upset another person, had been blinded by a desire to fit in, and has ever been in a place where there wasn’t anything they could do about their current situation?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that fits a lot of children, probably their parents as well, and me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You forgot to add me,” Sokka says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko looks at him in disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I put others in danger when my plans fail, and when I do reckless things, I’m constantly surrounded by bending masters, and fighting experts so struggling to fit in as definitely a thing. Well no, even back home, I was trying to become strong since I had to live up to my own little sister, and yeah, being the closest thing to a normal in our little gang, has often left me feeling a bit powerless to help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko could refute none of that, and he searched for a way to further narrow it so that only he would be included, but aside from outright naming himself, or his position, he couldn’t, but that couldn’t be right, could it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zuko,” Katara’s voice was soft, gentle, even with all the trouble he had caused for her, but he looked at her, needing to know what she was going to say to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our past does shape us, that’s inevitable, but it doesn’t have to define us, Zuko. Everyone is ashamed of something, and yes there are a lot of people unwilling to forgive people who have hurt them, even if the part they played was out of loyalty to another, but none of those people will ever know the real you. The nervous, shy, adorable, Little or the competent Fire Lord who weighs his options and still feels guilty after making choices because he knows he can’t help everyone. Those people could be anyone, but what I can tell you for certain, is that no one in our group will ever be like that. You are ours to care for, and we’re yours too.  It’s good that we have the power to make you happy, because you have that power over us as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko gazed down at the floor again, unable to find the words to respond to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s time for bed, why don’t you go get ready, and I’ll come tuck you in, in a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded, grateful that she had understood his need to be alone and think for just a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly made his way to his room, and froze when he saw what awaited him on the bed. His plushies that he had won at the festival were there, but in the center was a large plushie that he had never seen before. It was white, and dark brown, and was the perfect size to cuddle with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked over, and grabbed the toy, half scared it was a product of his imagination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fur was soft and fluffy, and perfect for hugging. Someone had clearly gone through a lot of trouble,, and he held it out so that he could see all the details. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It really was a perfect miniature of Appa, from the dark arrow to the flat tail. So much effort just for a toy. So much effort for </span>
  <em>
    <span>him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A sob broke through his control, and sank to the floor. He hugged the Appa plushie to his chest, and just cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had cried so much today. Maybe he just had an endless reservoir somewhere inside of him or maybe it was just buildup from all the tears he had forced away when he was a child in body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But these tears were different from the ones he had cried earlier because these were born of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had said, so many times, that he didn't want anything, and aside from the needed items, which he felt guilt for all the same, they had reluctantly acquiesced. But this was thoughtful, it took time and effort, and clearly was handmade. How much time had it taken? How much did they have to care to want to do it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn't asked for any reward either, they'd just left it for him to discover, and do whatever he wanted with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They wanted him to be happy. He didn't think he deserved to be, but he trusted his family, more than he trusted himself most of the time, and if they thought he should be happy, then maybe they were right. Maybe he could believe in their belief until he could believe it on his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow that thought made him feel lighter, and even though his tears were still falling he smiled. He stood up, and climbed onto his bed. He gathered his other stuffies, and hugged them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft giggle left him when he realized that he had a family of stuffies now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he frowned. They needed names. He bit his lip as he considered some options. The turtleduck was cute and fluffy. The komodo rhino was a little scary looking, and the Appa plush was just… everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fluff," he said, gazing at the brown marble eyes of the turtleduck, it was an embarrassingly plain name, but he could see the toy was smiling and he couldn't bear to change it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The komodo rhino was scary, but in the way that meant trouble for others, not him. "Ki," he said, testing the name on his tongue. Then he gave a firm nod, and turned his attention to toy Appa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had to start with an 'A' certainly, and he went over all the names he knew, but none fit, so he just started thinking of random things that started with the letter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A name came to him and he laughed at the sillness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that all his new friends had names, he wondered what was keeping Tama.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who wanna come help me find everyone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the toys seemed to beg to go and he couldn't bear to choose just one so he grabbed all three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could leave though, Ki said she wanted to stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sure?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ki said yes and he laid her on the bed so that she could guard the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Outside the room, the guard smiled at him. Everyone knew he was a Little and even if he didn't roam the palace Little very often they were prepared just in case he did. It also really helped that it was one of Suki's warriors though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where are you all headed young lord?" She asked, following a step behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Need to find ev'ryone," he said instinctively, trying not to sound too Little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I can help with that. Shall I take you to them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded and allowed her to lead him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked on the door once they arrived, and suddenly he was a bit scared that they might not let him in. The door was opened before the panic could set in too deeply, and he threw himself at Katara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the matter?" She asked as she held him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You was late so I came to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. I just thought you could use a bit more time to adjust after today."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm okay!" He said with a smile, and then his smile grew bigger as he realized that he really truly was, in fact he was better than okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled away, and moved- later he would deny that he had skipped, but no one would believe him- over to give Bear and Aang hugs just cause he just wanted to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His smile was still in place, and it was kind of embarrassing, but he couldn't help it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They readily accepted his hugs, and when he pulled away, he found himself bouncing in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” Sokka asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded. “Jus happy,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All three of them blinked, and then smiled softly at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt himself blush, and hurried to hide behind his plushie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s your new friend?” Katara asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko raised his head, and looked at her.  He knew she meant the Appa plushie, but it wasn’t fair to Fluff if he didn’t introduce her too. “Fluff,” he said holding up the turtleduck, “and dis is Apple.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How would you three like to stay for a sleepover?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko frowned. “But Ki will be lonely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ki?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to Aang, “my modorhino plushie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell you what, your room is bigger anyway, so why don’t we all sleep there?” Sokka suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko nodded frantically. There was only one thing that could make this better…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about the boys take you to your room, while I get a bottle for you?” Katara suggested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He should have known that Tama would know what he wanted. “Yes, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sokka-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On it!” Sokka said. “Come on Zuko, let’s go build a fort.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aang come too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleepover!” the Avatar exclaimed, jumping into the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka rolled his eyes at Aang, then turned to Zuko. “Race you to your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not!” Katara chided. “The last thing we need is one of you busting your heads open, running through the palace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, Katara, you really are no fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, I’m a real stick in the mud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sokka let out an exaggerated sigh. “Come on Zuko, let’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>walk</span>
  </em>
  <span> to your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zuko giggled, and took Sokka’s hand, and led him out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait for me!” Aang called, hurrying after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Katara smiled, and shook her head in amusement, then she headed for the kitchen, knowing that it would be best if she hurried, since her boys could find trouble in an instant. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Zuko got his plushies, it took way longer than I thought, but I achieved my original plan so huzzah.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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